One year in the land of 10,000 lakes.

We crossed into Minnesota in an early afternoon in late May, one year ago, after a long 20-hour road trip and with all our belongings in the back of a U-haul truck. I think about our first day here; the drive surrounded by rich green trees and the excitement of new beginnings. Is it innate in all of us the craving of life cycles? The markings of beginnings and endings? I would guess so.

When it comes to new year resolutions I have been on both extremes. I have felt the excitement of the clock turning 12:00am on January 1st as I stared at my long list of unnecessarily specific goals and felt a heightened focus which I believed I could carry through the following 365 days. I have also been the skeptic avoider, who resisted any popular pull for the goal setting rituals of the last day of December.

The year was 2019, the day December 31st, and as the hours were adding up I decided I would set three goals. One general goal, which was to write in my blog once a month....we know how that went. One spiritual goal of saying a prayer everyday, not to get too personal, but that also didn't go great. One mental goal which was the one I was the most excited about. The goal was "impartial introspection". I was to take more of an observer role in my own life and ways of thinking. To observe from a neutral perspective; because from observation comes understanding. 

Then 2020 happened and my new years resolutions felt like a silly thought in the face of what mattered at that point. A year that started with the prospect of a graduation celebration, a long waited and planned for Muay Thai training trip to Thailand, and a move to start the post-graduation adult life in a brand new state; ended filled with unexpected goodbyes, wavering feelings about what the future held, and an acute acknowledgement of the fragility of our human experience in this world.

Without going too much into it; what 2020 offered me, instead of my planned for new year's resolutions; was the ability to become more aware of the passing of time. Not sure if that's good or bad. Maybe it's both, depending on the day. As reality shifted around myself and my family, each day felt like a unit in and of itself. Some units to be deeply appreciated and some to be, often quietly, endured.  

All that to say that it has been one year since we got to the land of 10,000 lakes.